Taking a fresh look at that Self-Love thang...

» How an experience of dissolving my 'separate-self' brought me closer to my Self «

My cat Inka has an allergy that results in her having a skin problem. I was sitting with her on my lap last night, stroking her and feeling the pockmarks of dead and inflamed detritus left in her skin from her frequent scratchings. Rather than being squeamish, I was sending my cat unconditional love, affection, and warm regard as I cuddled her. 

Despite the constant irritation that Inka must feel, she has such a sweet and gentle disposition. I remembered back when late last year I had a tooth ache that saw me needing an emergency dental appointment (and subsequent tooth extraction). The days leading up to that appointment had my consciousness squarely in touch with my 'pain body'; I was irritable and impatient and not willing to be with 'what is'. Difficult emotions were surfacing during that time also, particularly that age-old chestnut "I'm not good enough" (which I now recognise as part-n-parcel of my pain-body story). The pain was colluding with the wounded parts of my psyche.

Funny how cats (and other animals) don't do that to themselves.

So there I was, struck by Inka's equanimity to what is. And another remembering struck me; one that, while I can't prove it to be true, resonates; that our pets are often avatars of their human guardian's energetic blocks. It's true in-so-much as my skin also erupts when I'm not looking after my Self.

Not only could Inka be with her discomfort with a gentle grace, she could carry my dis-ease also, with unparalleled grace. 

I had a moment of awakening to the recognition of Inka as part of me, and I, a part of her. As I sent her love and affection, a quiet whisper said; and this love is for you also.

Oh! Here was the disruption in my usual way of being. 

I could send my Self love, through the spontaneous and innate pouring of love that I send to my cat. 

In that recognition of 'She is I and I am She' I felt a small shift in my heart as I chose to open to the love I was pouring out, to receive what I habitually deny, and to open my capacity to love my Self more fully.

It all happened in an instant, yet it left a deep impression, and one that I can travel with in my daily life as I lift my eyes up from the keyboard and see Inka cleaning herself, just to my right on the window sill. She loves to hang out with me.

I love to hang out with me.

Inka has become my constant reminder to befriend my Self, over and over, in every moment.

I am struck by the simplicity of this healing moment.