Understanding
our nervous system
A gentle guide to understanding our nervous system — and how working with it creates real, embodied change.
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The most direct route into understanding, and working with our nervous system is to begin by noticing our body and the contents of our thoughts.
Why? Because our body and mind are always working together to create a coherent story — matching sensation with meaning. When this sense-making goes unexamined, when we don’t pause to question its relevance in the present moment, we can easily find ourselves living from a limited belief about who we are and how the world is.
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This noticing is our entry point in any Hakomi session: a moment of curiosity where we pause, turn inwards, and attend to what is here, now.
This attention is our key to change. As we develop the capacity to sense what our nervous system is ‘doing’ and saying, we take a significant step forward in our healing journey. It is, quite simply, the essential step.
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This page offers a simple way to understand how our nervous system shapes what we believe about ourself, others, and the world — and why insight alone is often not enough to create change.
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This is not a “just think differently” approach, but a nervous-system roadmap toward lasting change.
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The 3 states of our nervous system
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The nervous system states, as defined by Polyvagal Theory are...
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Rest and Digest (also known as our social engagement part of the nervous system)
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Fight and Flight (when we are activated by a perceived threat, and will run away (flight) or mobilise ourselves to turn towards and face down the threat (fight)
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Flop or Freeze (where our Dorsal Vagus system kicks in, and we collapse or shut-down)
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Popular Psychology employs a 'traffic light' motif to frame how these states show up in our system.
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Green » System Go (all is safe) » Ventral Vagal Engagement
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Orange » System on Alert (warning) » Sympathetic Nervous System
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Red » System Stop (not safe) » Dorsal Vagal Shutdown
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Ventral Vagal Engagement
Sympathetic Nervous System
Dorsal Vagal Shutdown
Ventral Vagal Engagement
Feeling safe, connected, playful, curious, and relaxed
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When we are in the 'Green' state, we are OK. We can fully engage with our senses, we can orient, make eye contact, our face communicates vividly how we feel. We have a voice. We can think and communicate and engage with others without feeling threatened. We have relaxed into an alert presence, being fully in the here-and-now.
When we inhabit this part of our nervous system, there is a sense of 'coming home' to our Self. This isn’t a permanent state we achieve — it’s a place we learn to return to, again and again.
Healing and transformation happens organically from this state.
Examples of core beliefs
of the ventral vagal system
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» I am safe
» I belong
» I am welcome
» It is ok to be authentically me
» It is ok to express myself
» I am worthy just as I am
Sympathetic Nervous System
Feeling activated or overwhelmed, but I've got this! (I can)
​The ‘Orange’ state is where we feel activated — alert, tense, mobilised — but still capable of working with what’s here.
In the natural rhythm of nervous system regulation, we may pass through this state as we become activated (on the way ‘up’), or conversely, as activation begins to settle, moving back ‘down’ from dysregulation toward safety and connection.
Activation is not a failure on our part; our nervous system relies on the ebb and flow of this energy. To work with this flow, we learn to build the capacity to stay present, to discern our moment-to-moment choices more accurately, and to sense what may lead to the most beneficial outcome.​
Most therapy sessions will happen within the boundaries of the 'orange' DANGER section. This is where I support you to learn how to down-regulate when you get activated, to tune into the safety signals of here-and-now present moment, and create the space needed to process what has happened.
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We learn to observe when and how we get activated and when and how we calm ourselves. This movement and rhythm between states is about being alive. Our living body is filled with rhythms, that of our breath, our heartbeat, of every cell pulsing.
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We learn to 'ride the edge' as Pat Ogden frames it. We create space within a Hakomi session to meet the inner tension, and in a safe way so that we don't get stuck in the 'red zone' (which takes us into shutdown). We learn to process or release sensations of fear, rage, anxiety, grief... whatever is arising to be seen, met, felt.
Examples of core beliefs
of the sympathetic nervous system
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» I need to be vigilant in order to be safe
» I need to play small in order to belong
» I am welcome if I conform to group-think
» It is not ok to be authentically me
» If I express myself fully, I will be rejected
» I need to be right in order to feel worthy
Dorsal Vagal Shutdown
Feeling hopeless, collapsed, overwhelmed, numb, disassociated / shutdown (I can't)
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When we are in the 'Red' state of FEAR or PANIC, we are often no longer able to take in external input. Our parasympathetic shutdown masks the extremely high and unbearable sympathetic activation, and leads to immobility. We are flooded with fear-driven physiological responses and can no longer think straight. In this state we have only one emergency response and that is safety.
Everything we perceive is through the lens of "am I safe?"
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Working in a Trauma-Informed way is essential for healing.
Examples of core beliefs
of the dorsal vagal system
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» The world is not safe
» I do not belong here
» I am not welcome
Our nervous system state = our core beliefs!​
What I find most remarkable about our nervous system, is that each state that we inhabit has its own set of core-beliefs, world view and behaviours.
​Consider this: if your nervous system is set to WARNING, no amount of positive affirmations around "I am safe" will go in, the message is in direct conflict with your body signal, your body simply will not believe it yet.​
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That is why a large part of Hakomi Therapy is about bringing our attention back to our most resourced state and leaning in to our story (and all the somatic sensations that go along with that). We do this with the aid of Mindfulness, Non-Violence and holding space with Unconditional Kindness.
When we shift states (like shifting gears) the stories we tell our Self that support our limiting core beliefs become less believable, less compulsive, less alluring, less magnetic.
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'I am safe' must be REALISED at a body level, and so we must develop our capacity to reside within our Ventral Vagal state.
It's the secret to what all the Yoga, Qigong and other ancient embodiment practices are always pointing us towards.
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Towards us. Inwards. Home.
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With practice, we can train ourselves back into the Ventral Vagal Social Engagement System and the core beliefs inherent to that part of our Self that knows and supports our ability to thrive, connect, live authentically, be playful, curious, compassionate beings.
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One way I personally work with this — and teach it — is through Yoga Nidra.
Antidoting our negative core beliefs using Yoga Nidra & the Sankalpa​
The video below is a presentation I offered as part of the Nervous System Rest online program run by Swami Karma Karuna from the Anahata Yoga Retreat centre.
The focus of the series was a yogic perspective on the nervous system, acknowledging the specific practice of the Yoga Nidra, an 8-step conscious relaxation process, as articulated by Swami Satyananda.
Built into the Yoga Nidra is a deeply intelligent process to reset the nervous system right down to the level of harmonising our core beliefs, specifically using the Sankalpa (clear positive statement) for positive beneficial transformation.
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In this presentation I offer a psychotherapeutic lens on the Autonomic Nervous System and the core beliefs inherent to the specific state that we are embodying.
The Serenity Prayer
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The Serenity Prayer is the song of our Ventral Vagal system.
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In this prayer, we are asking for ...
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peace (the abiding state of the ventral vagal system)
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bravery (being able to hear and respond from our heart-intelligence)
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discernment (pre-frontal cortex is online and functioning)
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In therapy, we have the opportunity to attune towards this most healing and whole part of our Self.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference
THE SERENITY PRAYER
Get in touch
Understanding your nervous system gives language to your experience. Working with it — gently, in relationship — is what creates lasting change.
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In Hakomi therapy, we don’t try to override your responses or push you into insight. Instead, we build safety, track activation, and support your system to return — again and again — to its own natural capacity for regulation, connection, and meaning-making.
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Over time, this supports more choice, more flexibility, and a deeper trust in yourself and your responses.
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If you’re curious about what it might be like to explore your nervous system patterns in a supported, compassionate way, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you.
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Feel free to reach out with a question, a reflection, or simply to say hello.
