» The missing essential Hakomi module «
The latter half of 2022 saw me complete a 5 month intensive spiritual mentorship program with Direct Realization Teacher Kara Leah Grant. This internship became the missing essential Hakomi module that I'd been looking for.
While the Hakomi training in NZ fostered epic personal and professional growth in me, it felt in some subtle way, incomplete, like there was a missing piece to the jigsaw, but I didn't know what it was.
And so, after I graduated, I cast my professional development net out wide, hoping to find the perfect complement for my Hakomi training. I came back with many bites; trying out various modalities (EFT, IFS, NVC, Yoga Therapy, Enneagram Work to name a few) but it wasn't until I deepened into my own sadhana (spiritual practice) with Kara Leah mentoring me, that I found the missing module; it was Me.
Showing up for myself and my spiritual practice became the missing Essential Module!
Spiritual Mentorship, for me, was about holding myself accountable to another, and to help me orientate to the Direct Realisation View Teachings (which is essentially to be with whatever is arising in the moment, and to be curious when I am not) on a day by day, minute by minute basis. This space fostered radical self responsibility and as a by-product, allowed my samskaras (mental impressions, recollections, or psychological imprints) to be seen, acknowledged, interrupted, digested, dissolved.
Much like a Hakomi session, only 'out of session' so to speak.
There are many similarities between being held in a Direct Realisation Process, and the way a Hakomi session flows -- the principles are the same; trust the organicity of our Self to move towards wholeness, hold loving kindness and mindfulness for the present moment experience (be it pleasant or unpleasant), and be willing to lean into the sensations of the body (somatic resilience).
It's like a magic wand is being waved when you experience the samskara dissolving right under your skin, flushing out the held energy, or the mind untangling into a sense of spacious clarity.
But it's not magic unicorns so much as curiosity, intention, willingness, trust and a small amount of desire, fanned, to orientate towards self liberation.
The new piece for me was fanning the desire, any desire actually; I needed to get clear on what I wanted, and how I wanted to show up in the world, and then make committed steps to move in that direction.
Setting intentions
Here is the key difference between me before my internship with Kara Leah, and after.
I started to locate and name the gap between where I am now, and where I want to be. Or, to put it another way; how I want to show up in any given moment.
That gap is called desire, and it's part-n-parcel of the Non-dual Shaiva Tantric Path of Self Actualised Realisation.
Since becoming a mum, I had watered down all desires and sailed my boat upon an equanimous sea, as best I could.
I had inherited that it wasn't safe to desire. And I had transposed that into telling myself; it isn't spiritual to desire; that desires are the root of suffering.
But that only creates a luck-warm receptivity to life.
For desire is also a heartfelt body-knowing of the gap between what is, and what could be, and in between there lies our sankalpa (intention); a resolve to do something to move towards what could be.
My mentorship with KL helped me to make peace with, and start trusting and utilising the power of intention, and by extension; desire. What do I want? What am I willing to offer or let go of in order to land there?
And what is the positive statement that embodies that quality I'm bringing in.
As a result of this deep dive with Kara Leah, I started bringing intention setting into the ceremonial space that a friend and I were holding each solstice and equinox.
My personal intentions went collective, and offered as seeds for whoever showed up.
The feedback I was started to receive illustrated how powerful this collective intention setting and ritual is. People in our community were starting to use the regularity of these ceremonies not only as markers for personal growth, but also for cultivating an abiding trust in the unfolding of Life, and realising that Life has our best and most optimal intentions at heart also. Each time, we get to acknowledge that Life is supporting Life.
And Life supports Service.
Essentially, cultivating my spiritual practice became my unique offering to the world, both in the ceremonial space and in the therapeutic container.
Funny how Life aligns like that!
You can view my ceremonial offerings here.